6 Months In

Hello everyone, I hope you are doing well.

Just wanted to pop in here and say I am alive LOL. Residency has not taken me out alhamdudillah.

These past 6 months have been the most humbling and eye-opening experience. I have been tested to my limits and then some. I have seen the most amazing things but also have broken down so many times.

Residency has definitely been a roller coaster ride.

I was going to write an elaborate post discussing everything I encountered during my last 6 months and how each rotation went, kind of how I did it when I was in medical school.

But as I was writing it, it started to turn into a novel.

As much as I love sharing my experiences and being vulnerable, it can be absolutely draining sometimes. And I think now that in residency because I have less time, I am going to live in the moment and update periodically on what I can talk about without burning myself out.

I will say that alhamdudillah, I am still here. Each day that I pick myself up and get back to work whether it is in the hospital or the clinic, is a huge accomplishment for me. I survived some of my worst days, such as seeing patients die in the ICU or carrying 10 patients by myself in the local community hospital. These moments have made me stronger and will allow me to continue to be the exceptional physician I will become after I complete my residency training, inshallah.

Residency has made me appreciate life more. Every moment that I am alive is such a blessing. It also made me prioritize my time. Whenever I have time off, I choose to be around people who will uplift me, whether that is family or close friends. I cannot waste it around people who will drain me. I am a chronic people pleaser but for the first time in such a long time, I have started to set boundaries. I also started to listen to my gut feeling more. It’s honestly such a beautiful thing and I am sad that I did not do this sooner. Because life is too short.

To everyone who has been sending me beautiful messages here, I would like to say thank you. You do not understand what those meant to me when I was covering nights, in the ICU, and at the community hospital. I had some of my lowest moments there and your messages felt like a warm hug and a boost for me to keep going.

Residency is not going to get any easier. But inshallah I will just get better.