In Memoriam

Salam alaiykum everyone, I know it’s been a minute since I last posted. So much has changed for me in residency that I wanted to discuss later on in the future.

But for now, I wanted to talk about a dear friend of mine turned family member, Lisa. I found out this morning that she passed away, and I wanted to write this post in memory of her.

I first met Lisa when I was training to be a phlebotomist. I was a nervous and timid 18 year girl, working alongside phlebotomists that have been doing this for years. I remember I was assigned to work alongside someone else, but that person then recommended that I switch with a different experienced phlebotomist, Lisa.

It was truly Allah SWT who aligned us to meet. I just remember first meeting a kind face, and my heart softened. She took me under her arms. She was so patient with me. She treated me like her own.

She was one of the first people to believe in me when I mentioned that I wanted to become a physician. She would go to all of our mutual patients and tell them that I was going to be a doctor. I would say, Lisa, I did not even take the MCAT or apply yet; how could you already say that? But she believed in me.

I talked in an earlier post about how closed mouths do not get fed. Lisa was the pioneer of that. When I saw a hijabi physician, I was too shy to ask to shadow her. Lisa made me go back, get her contact information, and through that, I obtained my first inpatient shadowing experience through that.

There was a time when I was sexually assaulted by a patient; Lisa believed me. She made sure I spoke with the charge nurse. She scolded my coworkers who made light of my assault. She even had the lead phlebotomist talk to me because I was so traumatized. Even when I would say things that happened to me in a joking manner, Lisa would take those matters seriously. Because she truly cared.

Lisa was not just my coworker. She was family. I would tell people she was like my second mother. It felt like she was a big bird, whose wings were covering me from other birds pecking at me. Whenever my coworkers would talk about me and how I struggled getting bloodwork, Lisa would always defend me. I do not know how I got so blessed with this type of love.

I am so grateful to Allah that she attended my medical school graduation. It meant the world to me. She would always say I was a doctor, so seeing that become a reality was truly a blessing from Allah.

Lisa was a very hard worker. Even at age 60, she would still work around 60-80 hours a week. She would always put others before herself. She was a caring and selfless person. I would always tell Lisa, ” You are doing so much.” She knew that, but she genuinely cared for others.

Even as medical school and then residency got busy, I would always think about Lisa and hang out with her. Our favorite place was the seafood boil at Lee’s. Another one of our coworkers/family members, Madama, would come too. I see her as my older sister. I would also bring my mom and my younger sisters. My heart would always feel so full after I saw them.

This past Sunday, Lisa, Madama, and I were planning to get crab together again. It has been so long since we hung out. Madama could not make the last outing, so it was me, Lisa, my mom, and my younger sister. But this time it was going to be all of us. Or so I thought.

Lisa could not make it that Sunday as she was going to be with her son and family. She said, “How about Saturday at 4 pm (yesterday)?” Madama agreed; therefore, we set to meet at 4 pm yesterday.

Yesterday morning, I texted our groupchat about plans to meet and if everyone was ok with it. That’s when I got a call from Lisa’s cell phone number.

Hello?

Hi Oumou, this is Lisa’s son.

Huh? Where’s Lisa?

Lisa is in the hospital. She’s had internal bleeding from a ruptured artery, and she is in the OR right now. It’s really bad, Oumou.

It felt like it was out of a movie. I asked him which hospital room she was in so that I could urgently see her. He told me she was in the OR, and he did not know when she would come back.

I spent the whole day yesterday crying and praying. Praying for a miracle. But as a physician, I knew that the reality of a ruptured aortic artery with internal bleeding had a high mortality rate.

I called Madama and let her know. We were hoping that she could make it out of the OR and recover so that we could visit her.

I texted Lisa’s phone asking for updates. No response. I thought the worst. I had to.

And finally, this morning, I got the call.

Lisa passed away.

I still cannot believe it. My heart hurts.

Inna lilahi wa inna ilahi rajuun.

I am writing this because I know so many of us are experiencing grief right now. And for me, writing is healing. It takes my thoughts, moments, and experiences and transforms them into something tangible. It makes me feel less alone.

I am really going to miss Lisa. I am going to miss her kindness, her laughter, her love of crab, her love of Diet Coke, her love of the color red, her love of family, her generosity, and her love. Thank you, Allah SWT, for allowing her to come into my life and changing it for the better.

Please pray for her family as they navigate life without this beautiful light.